Never Apologize for Who You Are

Every individual can do better and be better in this world. There are no exceptions since no one is perfect. Yet there are those who will criticize you as being weak if you cry, if you show frustration or irritation with the world, if you keel over from exhaustion. Get over it, deal with it, just get it done seems to be the theme of their less-than-helpful advice.

Crying, for example, is not a sign of weakness in a woman or a man. If you need to cry, go ahead and cry. And if those around you won’t let you cry, go somewhere that you can, such as the parking lot at the mall. If it happens, attend the funeral of someone you know, even if you don’t normally show up at them. It’s a sign of great respect to the family and will help you build your own courage while you grieve for the departed. You can also go to an emotional movie by yourself, or re-read a book that you know has a sad ending.

You must find the opportunity to express your own grief. If you don’t, if you hold it all in, the grief deepens and you will explode later in far more dangerous ways.

You may not cry over the death of a relative or best friend because you’re forced to “be strong” long enough to get through everything that has to be done. In truth you’re not being particularly strong and don’t need to be! What you are is in shock for as long as 6 months or more. You may also grieve for the loss of a career that has left you feeling abandoned.

Never tell someone else they need to be strong for the sake of whoever else has survived or because the deceased wouldn’t have liked it. And don’t tell yourself that you need to keep a poker face either. Some people are just naturally more emotional than others.

On the other hand, you may find yourself crying your eyes out non-stop for 5 hours straight when a sickly or aged pet has to be put down, and then the crying starts all over again in days to come. I’ve been in that situation more than once. It’s almost worse than losing a human family member because our pets are so innocent. However, their spirits also live on and we will be reunited with each one of them, too!

We can’t wallow in misery forever but we do need to allow ourselves time to grieve properly before we can move on. Never apologize for who you are.

Disclaimer: My blog posts are statements of opinion only. I am not in the business of giving financial, legal, medical, or any other type of advice. See Terms of Use and Disclaimer for further disclaimers.

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