We Train Other People How to Treat Us Badly

It took me a long time to grasp the fact that for years on end I’d been teaching other people exactly how to treat me. Their rotten and abusive treatment literally continued for decades because I’d taught them that I wouldn’t fight back! So they kept right on kicking dirt on me, shoving me aside, ridiculing my opinions, telling me to go back where I came from, and inflicting other verbal, financial, physical and sexual abuse.

Some people, who know just enough about Christianity to be dangerous, make statements such as:
“Oh, she won’t do anything. She’s a Christian, you know, and they’re not allowed to fight back.
Turn the other cheek and all that stuff.”

Well, su-prise, su-prise! This Christian is now standing up for herself, so stay out of my way. Maybe the pandemic has made me cranky. I know it has turned some of my bored neighbors into zealous little maniacs with an ax to grind.

Oh, and if you really want the attacks to increase, work on your genealogy and find long lost relatives! 
Satan’s minions will really pile on if you’re doing that kind of sacred work.

Neighborhood Watch and Neighborhood Councils

As the one dental commercial says, How times have changed!

I no longer tolerate abuse from anyone, especially not from petty, low-level bureaucrats. They’re actually the worst of all, even more so when they’re volunteers. An example would be found at Neighborhood Council meetings, of which Los Angeles has many. It had been more than three years since I last attended a meeting. Well, kudos to the folks who all work so hard but residents are still complaining about the same boondoggles that L.A. City is still trying to cram down our throats.

The nitpickers also include tattletale groups like Neighborhood Watch who are supposed to be the eyes and ears of LAPD but often act like vigilante groups. LAPD does not endorse that kind of behavior! However, many individuals have this notion in their heads that it’s their job to spy on their neighbors and report every little infraction of a regulation. Heaven help you if you put your trash cans out two hours early or don’t take them in promptly. And you’d better not pick up a hose or a watering can to hand-water the yard, or for mercy’s sake, put down some needed fertilizer that has to be kept wet for 12 days, even when promised rains don’t arrive! They’ll be on you like fleas jumping to a newly arrived dog.

I have learned to keep detailed notes about some of those same neighbors and all their own infractions of local laws. It may come in handy. I also detail when and if and for how long I hand-water. So make sure you have all the facts before reporting me to anyone, even to your neighborhood stoolie. Your notes had darn well better match mine, or the s**t will really hit the fan when I finally explode.

People react with shock and alarm when you finally become assertive but it’s long overdue in my case. My days of being a doormat and a punching bag for clowns and others with low self-esteem are over. We earn the right to build up our self-worth by our own good deeds, by helping others, not by tearing down those who are fighting to survive, and certainly not by piling on a widow. A person on fixed income, thanks largely to Assembly Bill 5, isn’t stupid enough to waste meager funds, no matter what the rest of you may think. So go volunteer at a homeless shelter or knit beanies and scarves, for crying out loud! Or go to justserve.org and surely find some other useful thing you can do for humanity. We all need to earn our right to take up space on this earth.

Oh, and I do feel sorry for whoever is dumb enough to eventually buy this property in “such a nice neighborhood!” Good luck with that. There are many shades of nice, when all is said and done. Maybe you’ll be just like the neighbors and fit right in.

Disclaimer: My blog posts are statements of opinion only. I am not in the business of giving financial, legal, medical, or any other type of advice. See Terms of Use and Disclaimer for further disclaimers.

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